Feature Articles, etc:
By, Gina Fava
One minute I'm hanging around, lazing in the sun with my friend, Rosemary, and my four sisters, sharing some really good pot. Next, I'm in a jam.
It starts when this guy picks me up. He says, "Red, you're goin' places!" I blush, of course, and my freckles pop and that just seems to make him want me more.
He throws me into the back of his truck and takes off. I'd hoped Rosemary could come, but he’d left her there, wanting nothing to do with her. My sisters come along for the ride, since we're all joined at the hip anyway.
We drive from the country and into the city. Along the way we stop. He pulls over and has all five of us crowd into the front seat with him, and then continues on.
A little while later, he starts tonguing one of my sisters. I think, That's it; this isn't for me, no way! But, then, he starts handling me. I go along with it.
Finally, he pulls into a driveway and parks, and handles me some more. He's a little rough; he holds me by my collar and checks out my curves. I feel self-conscious because I'm quite plump, but he says he likes me a little soft around the middle.
I'm really turned on by his lusty gaze, so I don't mind so much when he leaves my sisters chillin' in the car and brings me into his house.
Lo and behold, his kitchen is filled with dozens of tarts, just waiting for this guy to get back.
I want to scream, but he says, "Relax, baby, you're beautiful," and starts tonguing me! I try to resist, but he pulls out a can of whipped cream, and I just about melt at the sight of it.
He's fondling me now, on the countertop, and I'm really into it. I let him spoon me.
Next thing I know, the bell rings, and he runs to greet some other sweet cake.
She comes onto him. I mean she's really all over him, hot and heavy.
All the while, I just lie there, wishing I were elsewhere…warming in the sun, with my buds, back when thyme stood still…
When he’s finally done with her, he scoops me up and squeezes me tight—I'm so confused. He sucks my face one last time and tells me that it's the end of the road for us. This guy's got real nerve. After all that, and he's ready to drop me for good!
At this point, I'm boiling over. I can't believe that he'd plucked me from obscurity only to stick me into this mess. I thought that I was special. But now that I look around me, I realize that I'm just like all the others. I'm really in a jam.
Two years later, he comes knockin' on my door. He expects me to spread for some English muffin he'd buttered up. I'm always in a jam…
In A Jam is copyright © 2004 by Gina Fava. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this text, or any portion thereof, in any form.